take me to the circus!

circus wedding - green wedding shoes

see you in the summer

sun is shining

my mind's wandering

work is piling

my heart's left wanting

the rollercoaster ride's a lonely one

i'd rather be lost than have nowhere to go

With exams, graduation and the end of my student life creeping up on me, I am not afraid.

I have a plan; whether successfully executed or not, I doubt I will have any regrets.

Though you may not understand and mock my efforts along the way, I say, fuck you. I'm happy, are you?

I have a plan and am following my feet. Whose shoes are you in? Mine may be a tad too big for me, but I will grow into it one day. More importantly, they are mine, not anyone else's. Can you say the same?

I am not lost, I just chose not to settle.

iWorry

So for the past few weeks, I've been watching loads of documentaries. I think I was just lazy to study and I like watching TV so I just put them together so I felt less unproductive hehe.

But watching all those documentaries just made me worry. A lot.

I've been writing an essay on Malthus' population theory, which is basically: as population grows exponentially and the means of subsistence arithmetically, one day the world will just run out of food and people will die blahblah.. so watching those stupid documentaries just amplified my worries even more.

There was one about the food we eat and how unhealthy we were. I went to Whole Foods the next day. My diet now consists of nuts, prunes for antioxidants, more tuna and less take aways (that's a lie).

Then I watched one about paedophilic priests (don't ask -___-) and started worrying about my own children (next time lah). First the food, now horny priests? I decided to stop watching them for awhile. Who knows, if I watch March of the Penguins, I'll even feel sad for birds.

Yesterday, during tutorial, my tutor was telling us how to finish off our environmental essays and he said that it was okay to conclude with a bunch of questions, it was okay NOT to have a conclusion - we don't know all the answers and we don't know all the circumstances (super lightbulb moment - never thought I'd get enlightened in school -__-).

I have a lot of questions I want answered and a lot of doubts I want reassured. I know everyone does too. After much worrying over my children being molested, me starving to death, catching bird/swine/panda flu, dying in war, etc... I realised, WHAT'S THE POINT?

I told my sister about my new diet and she was like, "Yesterday, I went to Subway and they asked me what sauce I wanted. I said - EVERYTHING". Hehe.

What I'm trying to say is, whatever we worry about.. it may or may not happen. If it does, it will come sooner or later. It's okay to be uncertain, it's okay to not have all the answers.

Wow, now that I'm reading it out loud - seriously, wtf was I worrying for.

auf wiedersehn goodbye.

all that you have is your soul

i daydream. way too often. don't you?

i dream about what my life will be in 10 years. i dream about my wedding day: veil or no veil, 3 or 4 bridesmaids, garden wedding, church wedding?

i also dream about my funeral. it's not morbid, it's realistic. it's like a wedding, i'm going to be married someday, so it's a celebration of love. i'm going to die someday, why not imagine how my life will be celebrated? i'm not hoping to die, i just.. wonder what it'd be like. okay la after this post, i will touch wood ten times okay?

i want a garden after party (or funeral haha). no one is allowed to wear black and there must be cake. guests will be served my famous chicken soup (cos all moms gotta have a famous chicken soup) and playing in the background would be songs i listen to now. i hope for my children to sit around and talk about how much i used to annoy them, for them to realise later, how much they will miss me :)

the sun has gone to bed and so must i.

so long farewell auf wiedersehn goodnight.

*touches wood x10*

corals for spring?

last night, i went to bed and couldn't sleep till 2.30am cos i was looking at clothes -___-

i love proenza schouler's new spring collection!

i like how their collection started off with just plain minimalist black and white. i didn't really like a lot of them but here are the ones i did like!

i thought the shirt-tied-around-the-waist idea was GENIUS. GENIUS, i tell you! and the SHOES are gorgeous!

oh and then come my favourite pieces! it's like scuba+hippie on acid and every model looks like a different type of fish. i mean, who would've thought spring-coral and not spring-floral!

SIGH I WANT.. next post, oscar de la renta. would blog all of it now but thought that'd be overkill.

so long farewell auf wiedersehn goodbye!